Daily Dialectical Coping. It’s a form of constant mindfulness that I have to maintain in order to get through the day. Always questioning my thoughts and feelings, “Are these real? too extreme? can I validate them with facts?” I think it hinders everything in my life because it takes so much focus. How can I focus on other people when I have to keep myself in such hard check? Friendships, dating (what a joke) everything gets neglected because I am dealing with “me” so much. Is this wellness? Does it get easier?
Relationships are my goal this year. ITs the final step on my wellness list. I have a dating profile up, I think I will post it here on the site so everyone can see it.
These are some of the things I work on daily:
My Tips for thinking Dialectically
- Avoid words like “Always” and “Never” they are limiting and words are powerful.
- Practice not speaking when someone is talking to me, be a better listener and see other points of view
- Remember that no one has source truth, every person is reflecting their own subjective version of what they think is truth
- Use “I feel” statements, it’s less abrasive than “I think” and it’s more accurate since it is those pesky over the top feelings causing the need for guidelines to begin with
Remind myself that the only constant is change and change is good.
Accept that different opinions can both belegitimate, and that everyone has a right to have theirs no matter how stupid I think it is. Don’t tell them they are stupid.
- Consider that we all have both good and bad qualities in differing quantities
- Check out your assumptions,
– do not put words in other peoples mouth or expect others to read your mind, and remember it’s NOT ALL ABOUT YOU
other we all are and how interesting we each are in our own quirky ways, and remember everyone has their own personal bullshit to deal with, you haven’t been given extra.