Open cd cover

Open- A story about a song

 Now I’m Open, Like You’ve Never Seen Me Before-

This is the first song I ever wrote.  It was like touching lighting.  Fully formed it came rushing out of me in one swift euphony of chords and rhythm and howling vocals that seemed somehow mine but not, it was like being fascinated by being your own puppet and euphoric because the puppeteer tickled your fancy . Yes like I was saying quick and surreal.

It was the highest I will say I have ever felt or any human could ever possibly feel, adrenaline maybe, but I have experienced the sporting rush this is much different, so much finer, brighter, electric. Truly a transcendent thing happened to me, that late fall afternoon in the Ozark woods .

To this day,  still the best decision I ever made in my whole life, was running away at the age of 24, to the hippie commune, also known as Eastwind Community.

I learned to love the things I thought I couldn’t.   Miserable things about life, unfair things about the world, and especially everything about myself.  Amongst the most interesting creative people I had ever known,  with sound, laughter, sun., caves and creeks, communication, confrontation, and heartbeats and breaks.  The very best of friends and always confusing to me fakes. When I sing, it heals broken places only sound can find.

Out of curiosity, I got it reviewed by the Nashville Singer Songwriters Association…they did not like or understand it at all, and the confusion of the review makes me giggle every single time. I find it so perfectly comical and of course not surprising at all that commercial radio rustlers can’t recognize a true creation..in the zone. But whatever, they write songs about whiskey dick, I write songs with gods dick. Rock on.

I have posted their 0 star rating below.  Listen first so you can have your own take on it.

It is me telling my god, source, self, spirit, etc…  hey, listen damnit..I’m open…don’t be a dick.

this song was not meant to be commercial, nothing I write for myself is… but really what is commercial, people ask me to play this one all the time and have for 24 years.  From campfires, to coffee shops, bars, to bus stations, sidewalks, and stages of varied sizes,  this song has never bombed..not once..I’d say odds are it will continue to not suck as long as I am alive to play it as it was meant to be.

 

Song Title – Open

Evaluator Number – 37446

Evaluators Comments
OPEN

EVALUATORS OPENING: Hello, its Evaluator # 37446 and thank you for having
NSAI and myself be a small part of your writing and career. Please
understand that what I am about to lay out are merely suggestions to help
improve your writing and make your song and your future songs as strong as
they can possibly be to compete in todays competitive market. Lets get
started!!

FORM/STRUCTURE: First point to make here is you have very long verses and a
long chorus. A good rule of thumb is LONG VERSE/SHORT CHORUS or vice versa.
Second point would be that you don’t hit your chorus the second time till 3
minutes. I’m not sure I understand the way its put together. V2 just runs on
and on. Try and be more predictable structurally speaking. V-C-V-C-V-C or
V-C-V-C-B-C. Overall the song is lyrically very long.

TITLE/HOOK: The title is average but the payoff is good.

(the above comments aren’t what I thought were funny it’s how confused the person is below by my song)

LYRIC: Overall the lyric is vague. Not sure I understand what the main point
really is. WHO is the one you are singing to?? WHAT is the nature of the
relationship? Just not really getting much sense of that. What caused you
to be OPEN?? What was happening before?? Just try to dig a bit deeper and
try to be more clear. I feel the chorus is saying IM OPEN…..SHINE THROUGH
ME which is all positive but V1 is very confusing and contradictory. REGRET
what I KNEW WITH YOU etc etc. Just not getting a sense of the situation.
Always try to lead the listener down a clear path line by line. A to B to C
etc etc. Be logical when you write your lines.     —– I do not agree that all listeners want to be led by the nose thru a song, besides I think my song is clear about the love/hate try/fail push/pull that is life … yin/yang..sometimes it goes your way other times no one cares…etc 

MELODY/METER: Overall the melody is getting lost due to the amount of lyric.
It all feels a bit cluttered and monotonous. Limiting some of your lyric
will help.

OVERALL THEME/IDEA: I think the idea needs further developing.

 Hilarious to me because I have never had the experience of the lightning bolt, the automation of how the song was complete as it came out of me in minutes, the absolute magic of how this one happened, sure others were good too, but not like this one… it’s the “thing” every musician wants to feel. at risk of sounding religiously goofy, this one came from god or whatever, I feel weird when I say that even though I know it was a power of ..anyways I wish an experience like it for all people it will drop your jaw and change your life.

CLOSING COMMENTS: Overall the song is lyrical lengthy. You can accomplish
more with less. Thats my best advice there. Also with regards to genre, not
sure either but it’s certainly not a Gospel song. Not with some of the lyric.
I hope you find this helpful and I wish you the best with your writing.

I LOVE THAT PART====OMG it can’t be a gospel song ..you can’t talk to god like that ….want to make a bet ..my god isn’t a prick.  isn’t a he…isn’t anything and is everything that IS… which includes me, you,  my sense of humor, your offended feelings,  my foul mouth and my vague lengthy songs. My god is cool like that.

Oh yeah speaking of GODS…

I found this old old song of mine…while I’m strolling down memory lane… my song Perfect God, I’d play this one to get rid of the too prudes.

They would get up and leave. Delusional people should be more fun in my opinion, they refuse to have a laugh.

Think I’ll write a vague song about people that want life of a clear spoon fed variety

Send Me Suggestions

I am collecting obscure lyricists…send me suggestions.  Tanya Donelly is one of my favorites. I love that she knows what her song means. Then to me, it has its own meaning in the soundtrack to the movie called my life…that is what art and poetry is…conceptual, objective, imaginative….I’m ranting ..I shouldn’t judge, everyone should be free to be as small minded and boring and boxed in as they wish to be.

[contact-form][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Email” type=”email” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Website” type=”url” /][contact-field label=”Message” type=”textarea” /][/contact-form]

 

One comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *