DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR TIPS

Dialectical Coping

Daily Dialectical Coping.  It’s a form of  constant mindfulness that I have to maintain in order to get through the day.  Always questioning my thoughts and feelings, “Are these real? too extreme? can I validate them with facts?” I think it hinders everything in my life because it takes so much focus.  How can I focus on other people when I have to keep myself in such hard check?  Friendships, dating (what a joke) everything gets neglected because I am dealing with “me” so much.  Is this wellness? Does it get easier?

puzzle pieces on head

geralt / Pixabay

Relationships are my goal this year.  ITs the final step on my wellness list.  I have a dating profile up, I think I will post it here on the site so everyone can see it.
These are some of the things I work on daily:
My Tips for thinking Dialectically
  • Avoid words like “Always” and “Never” they are limiting and words are powerful.
  • Practice not speaking when someone is talking to me, be a better listener and see other points of view
  • Remember that no one has source truth, every person is reflecting their own subjective version of what they think is truth
  • Use “I feel” statements, it’s less abrasive than “I think” and it’s more accurate since it is those pesky over the top feelings causing the need for guidelines to begin with
  • Remind myself that the only constant is change and change is good.
  • Accept that different opinions can both be
    legitimate, and that everyone has a right to have theirs no matter how stupid I think it is.  Don’t tell them they are stupid.
  • Consider that we all have both good and bad qualities in differing quantities
  • Check out your assumptions,
    – do not put words in other peoples mouth or expect others to read your mind, and remember it’s NOT ALL ABOUT YOU
  • Try to appreciate how different from eachpicture of terion miller
    other we all are and how interesting we each are in our own quirky ways, and remember everyone has their own personal bullshit to deal with, you haven’t been given extra.

Positive Power, Positively!

The Powers of a Positive Attitude

I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking

Change your mind, change your life

geralt / Pixabay

down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

What you can Gain

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

happy standing girl on the beach

jill111 / Pixabay

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

Happy Thoughts

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a upbeat attitude by focusing on the good things, the happy things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

Nothing to lose

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

Changes 2017 Nov 30

My Path

QUERY
■ Method: Taps
■ Date: 2017 Nov 30 06:33:31
■ Software: Deepware Changes – Version 4.04 / Build 51

ANSWER
■ Obtained code: 879878
■ Hexagram code: 48:3-29
■ Name according to Richard Wilhelm: The Well→The Abysmal (Water)

APPLICATION TEXT
■ PRIMARY HEXAGRAM
● Associated concepts: available, education, employment, hydration, joy, moisture, opulence, reserve, resources, roots, satisfaction, sentimentality, tears, tool.
● Reflection: Needs must be sorted according to their importance. If you ignore your essential necessities, the marginal ones are totally worthless. Our inner wealth is infinite: it is just a matter of finding it. Those who get it, do the same for the others. Spending in tools makes work easier.
■ CHANGING LINES
● Line 3: A person with potential is being wasted. This must be publicly known.
■ SECONDARY HEXAGRAM
● Associated concepts: abyss, audition, crime, danger, ears, learning, listen, recklessness, repetition, vertigo.
● Reflection: Fear leads to inactivity or to escape. But regular exposure to danger can overcome fear, for better or worse. The advice of a wise person is invaluable. Reckless acts must be avoided.