DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR TIPS

Dialectical Coping

Daily Dialectical Coping.  It’s a form of  constant mindfulness that I have to maintain in order to get through the day.  Always questioning my thoughts and feelings, “Are these real? too extreme? can I validate them with facts?” I think it hinders everything in my life because it takes so much focus.  How can I focus on other people when I have to keep myself in such hard check?  Friendships, dating (what a joke) everything gets neglected because I am dealing with “me” so much.  Is this wellness? Does it get easier?

puzzle pieces on head

geralt / Pixabay

Relationships are my goal this year.  ITs the final step on my wellness list.  I have a dating profile up, I think I will post it here on the site so everyone can see it.
These are some of the things I work on daily:
My Tips for thinking Dialectically
  • Avoid words like “Always” and “Never” they are limiting and words are powerful.
  • Practice not speaking when someone is talking to me, be a better listener and see other points of view
  • Remember that no one has source truth, every person is reflecting their own subjective version of what they think is truth
  • Use “I feel” statements, it’s less abrasive than “I think” and it’s more accurate since it is those pesky over the top feelings causing the need for guidelines to begin with
  • Remind myself that the only constant is change and change is good.
  • Accept that different opinions can both be
    legitimate, and that everyone has a right to have theirs no matter how stupid I think it is.  Don’t tell them they are stupid.
  • Consider that we all have both good and bad qualities in differing quantities
  • Check out your assumptions,
    – do not put words in other peoples mouth or expect others to read your mind, and remember it’s NOT ALL ABOUT YOU
  • Try to appreciate how different from eachpicture of terion miller
    other we all are and how interesting we each are in our own quirky ways, and remember everyone has their own personal bullshit to deal with, you haven’t been given extra.

Limerick Dating Do’s

Do Limericks turn into Love?
​I wrote this ditty of a limerick for a funny review to leave on someone I was/am talking to on  a dating website.  Yes folks, I am attempting to date, working to my goal of a functional relationship. Go Me!
So far, dates -1. Stand ups-2  Connections – 0
Wrote this for a man I have been talking to, who is smart, funny, and well….I wrote this for him for fun…

Phd Tall as a Tree

Well well what can I say
when he’s on he’s on..and ready to play,

With who? With what? Did you ask where?

girl fish or mermaid

Prawny / Pixabay

Ouch oh yeah,Oh yeah he does,
he likes to pull on hair

Line up ladies, I’ll show you how
brains and seduction work
First you hold my feather duster,
and I will polish all the wood.

Up and down, round and round
is how I get to working
Oh my my is that a leg.
it’s definitely not a gherkin

My mind is wired a little faulty,
Yes it’s a little twisted
Such a muddy pond of players games
yet we all just keep on fishing

I may call dibs, and stake my claim
He’s different than his brothers
the rest of you splish splash away
Ty cat fishing with the others

Prawny / Pixabay

So many words, and sarcastic banter,
Lets not forget the laughter
you can look it up, if you don’t believe me
if you feel you really have to,
It’s in this thing that’s quite profound,
he calls his dictionary
collegiate thick and quite big around
close your eyes if it scares you
So many words you can’t fit in
His pen stroke goes on forever
He makes a  basket of sentences
To carry you off like a bandit
So listen ladies

cartoon man with a book

Prawny / Pixabay

I’m here to say,
He’s really not so scary…
On the Plateau of the Cumberland
Painting walls with dirty words
He’s Ripe, He’s randy and he’s ready
for the taking.