On the Border of Personality

What Is BPD?

Standing on the Border of Personality

Borderline personality disorder can not only be difficult to live with , but be difficult to understand. Even the experts can sometimes need to really study up so that they can recognize and diagnose it without the standard stigma attached. Diagnosis is particularly difficult in teens and young adults because many of the symptoms are typical teenage angst, and then there are the ones that are not.

lone person walking

Comfreak / Pixabay

Borderline Personality Disorder or BPd is a mental illness that is characterized by emotional instability and vulnerability. Someone with BPd has difficulty regulating his or her emotions and has changeable moods, I call them faceted moods.  Emotionally,  people with BPd can go from normal to breaking the spectrum on “any emotion here” ,0 to 90 in seconds flat.  We are labelled extremists and drama seekers, but we are not, in our minds everything warrants our sadness, happiness, anger.  We view the world thru idealistic lenses and traverse it with our hearts laid bare and raw on our sleeves.  We don’t know where we fit in, and our emotionally driven ways don’t make fitting in very easy at all anyway.  All this leads to several symptoms and behaviors typical of the disorder:

  • Impulsive and risky behaviors
  • Self-loathing or overly compensation with arrogance 
  • Suicidal thoughts and/or actions, ready to leave this world at any time, lost value of life
  • Quick and frequent mood swings that can be subtle or extreme
  • Episodes of intense depression, anxiety or anger, the darkness of being becomes too much
  • Inappropriate reactions, extreme reactions, emotions out of range for the context of the situation
  • Unstable relationships or no relationships at all.  

It’s a hard diagnosis.  It’s a hard roll of the dice to be stuck with to be sure! For those of us that live it, it’s constant work, constant processing.  I talk to myself AND answer myself and it’s the least of my “crazy”.

If you have Borderline Personality Disorder and suffer through the empty dark desolate days, where we long to go home, be gone, or as I like to say, I want to be the ether, everywhere and nowhere simultaneously.  Here are a few things we have to remember about being who we are:

  • We are hard wired this way.  They can scan our brains and they look different.  We are brain damaged so to speak.   We didn’t get the bond and protection we needed as infants and our baby brains were growing, forming, and wiring themselves to their environment.  Millions of synapses making connections, wiring the thought processes. Nature vs Nurture, we are the ultimate double whammy. and survived it.
  • Many people who have lived through the trauma of the kind of childhoods many of us have had,  end up with split personality disorder. I can’t imagine if there were more facets of me to deal with that couldn’t remember each other! So lucky us.  We were strong enough to hang in there.
    Woman with steam coming out ears

    komposita / Pixabay

  • Sometimes it is a blessing to be so emotional sensitive.  We truly feel, for good and bad, we are in there knee deep in the emotional muck of living and that is what being alive is about.
  •  We are strong enough to hold the intense emotional energy.  Emotions of such magnitude generate energy of the same magnitude.  We are like walking beacons and batteries.  We tend to the extremes that others cannot and we remind people of the fragility of being human.  When we wound each other through our actions or words, it causes pain and suffering.
  • We offer a different view of the world that only we with our rawness and extremes can offer.  Differences are good.
  • We are incredibly strong and resilient. Worthy of love and friends. We just need people as special as we are.
  • and lastly, remember …It IS what It IS… the past is gone, non existent and the future is yet to exist.  We can only  be who we are supposed to BE and we can only be where we ARE.

Mortals need not apply.

Positive Power, Positively!

The Powers of a Positive Attitude

I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking

Change your mind, change your life

geralt / Pixabay

down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

What you can Gain

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

happy standing girl on the beach

jill111 / Pixabay

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

Happy Thoughts

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a upbeat attitude by focusing on the good things, the happy things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

Nothing to lose

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.